I started this blog mainly so that women who are in, or who are recovering from a relationship with an autogynephilic male can find each other, and to encourage these women to speak out against this abuse. We can be the key to exposing the lies that hide behind the carefully constructed myths that surround these men. The commonly accepted trope that these are “women trapped inside men’s bodies” for example. That it has nothing to do with sexual fetish. That “gender” is an innate “essence”, that must never be questioned. That a “transwoman” is a “woman” because they say so. Yanno. Stuff like that.
I also want to signpost women to authors and bloggers who helped me to make sense of what was going on, and who opened the door to me finding healing, and to turn pain into a righteous anger that fuels my will to devote my life to women and girls. To join the dots between this and all the other ways that women are objectified, marginalised and abused. IT IS ALL CONNECTED. I would not have the words to express this deep insult to women without them. I would not have been here without them.
A large part of my healing process has been to *really* understand that my troubles, although personal to me, have a political basis – the oppression of females living under a system that supports and perpetuates male dominance. Some women call this Patriarchy. It’s weapon of choice is “gender”.
Understanding the basis of how and why “bad things happen to us”, is the first step toward liberation.
I am not an academic, but I can think, and I can speak from my lived experience. It has always been the sharing by women of our lived experience that has formed the seeds around which feminism has grown. Our experiences are real, and just as valid as any academic paper. Men do not share these experiences – they have no right to claim “woman” as their own. They have no right to create a parody or an effigy of us from their male bodies and then demand that we accept them as one of our caste. They have no right to speak for us. Ever.
If you are reading this, and you can relate to any of my experiences, you are very welcome to post your’s here. Or start your own blog, and we can link to each other. This blog is mainly for you. No one will judge you here.
Who/what this blog is NOT for is to engage with a variety of men who tell us they are women. I’m really not interested in your “No True Scotsman” arguments. I don’t care if you think, “Well that one over there isn’t a *real* transsexual” – you are entirely missing my point. The fact is that *all* of you guys buy into a myth that harms women. Go have your squabbles on someone elses blog. Please believe me, I have heard it all before.
As for telling me that I should have left earlier, well dudes, that just shows how far you have to go before you even have a glimmer of what it’s like to be groomed into subordination and fed shit about your role “as a woman” since the day you were born. Not. A. Fkn. Clue.
In my dreams, I would love to see the development of a movement of survivors of autogynephilic abuse. Together, we can call out the bullshit. Tell our own stories. Keep it real.
One is lonely, two is a revolution.